


That's One More Off The List

by seibelsays



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Steve Rogers 100th Birthday Celebration Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15088577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seibelsays/pseuds/seibelsays
Summary: Poker night is interrupted when the boys discover Steve still hasn’t seen Star Wars. Clint has a lot of opinions about the way his fellow Avengers have chosen to watch the films.





	That's One More Off The List

“So how’s that list going?” Sam asked as he shuffled the deck of cards in his hands. Their semi-regular poker night was actually happening for once - they finally had enough people on the same continent at the same time for a few hands.

“It’s going well, I think. I haven’t had to add much to it recently,” Steve grinned. “Maybe I’m finally catching up.”

“That’s great, man. What’s left?” Sam started to deal as Clint and Scott looked on, expectantly. Well, Scott looked expectant. Clint might have fallen asleep with his eyes open again.

Steve pulled the little notebook from his pocket. “Well, I crossed the Berlin Wall off the list last week - Sharon and I stayed in Germany a few extra days after we mopped up that AIM facility outside Hamburg. And Doctor Banner and I went out for Thai food last week, that was actually really good. Has he told you about the place he goes?”

“Klom Klorm in Bushwick? The place with the khao soi, right?” Scott asked.

“That’s the one,” Steve replied happily.

“That place is the best,” Scott sighed a little dreamily.

“These are all things you’ve crossed off the list,” Sam reminded him. “What is still on the list?”

Steve looked down at his notebook. “I haven’t seen _Star Wars_ yet.”

Clint jerked. “What?!”

Steve blinked at him. “What?”

“You _still_ haven’t seen _Star Wars_? How long have you been defrosted now?”

Steve set his jaw. “I’ve been a little busy,” he replied defensively.

“Are you still unspoiled?” Clint demanded.

“I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.”

“Food’s here,” Bucky said, as he walked into Steve’s apartment, arms laden with takeout bags.

“Barnes - you seen _Star Wars_ yet?” Sam asked.

“Which one?” he asked as he started passing bags of food around.

“See!” Clint exclaimed. “Even Barnes has seen them and he’s a hermit.”

“ _Мой шампунь со слюной, амур,_ ” Bucky replied as he sat down.

“Well that’s uncalled for,” Clint replied.

“The part where he told you to suck his dick, or the part where he called you ‘Cupid?’” Sam asked.

“What order did you watch them in?” Scott asked as he dug through the bag Bucky had handed him.

“Aren’t they numbered?” Steve asked.

“STEVE!” Clint exclaimed.

Sam ignored Clint’s outburst. “Yes, they are numbered. But there is some debate as to the appropriate viewing order. You can watch them in the order they were released-”

“Episodes 4, 5, 6, followed by 1, 2, 3, and then 7, 8, 9,” supplied Scott helpfully.

“9 isn’t out yet!” Clint countered.

“You could watch them in Episode order, starting with 1,” Sam continued, ignoring Clint entirely.

“Only if you hate yourself,” Clint muttered.

“Or you could watch the ‘Prequels as Flashback’ order, which is 4, 5, sometimes 1, then 2, 3, and finishing up with 6. 7, 8, and 9 aren’t taken into consideration here.” Sam finished. “Each viewing order has it’s pros and cons.”

Steve looked at Bucky, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for most of the conversation, choosing instead to stuff his face with his order of drunken noodles. “What order did you watch them in?”

Bucky chewed on his noodles and shrugged. “Whatever order Darcy put on.”

Sam smirked. “Oh you watched with Darcy, did you? You two have been spending a lot of time together.”

“Your point?”

“Just making an observation.”

Clint was staring at Bucky aghast. “You don’t remember what order you watched them in?”

“She asked if I had a preference. I didn’t, so she said she prefers ‘Prequels as Flashback’ but,” he shrugged again. “I’m not fond of flashbacks,” he said quietly. 

Sam’s smirk softened a little. “So what did she recommend?”

“Release order. Said it would allow me to enjoy the universe before the prequels tainted it.”

“So what did you think?” Clint asked.

“Spoiler free reviews, please! Steve hasn’t seen them!” Scott reminded.

Bucky shrugged again as he grabbed another forkful of noodles. “I don’t remember a lot of it.”

Clint’s jaw practically hit the table. “How. Do. You. Not. Remember. _Star Wars_?”

Bucky turned to Clint slowly, a shit-eating grin sliding across his face. “We were otherwise occupied.”

Steve snorted, while Scott and Sam looked thoughtful. 

“Now that I think about it...that’s how I saw the prequels as well,” Scott said.

Sam eyed Steve. “There are worse ways to watch.”

“You haven’t seen them then!” Clint sputtered.

“They were on. I was present. It counts.” Bucky shoveled another forkful of noodles into his mouth.

“No. No it does not count.” Clint insisted. “And Natasha will agree with me.”

“Actually, Natasha was the one who recommended I save them for a date,” Steve shrugged. 

Clint let out a high-pitched squawk of frustration and got up from the table. He opened the refrigerator, pulled out a beer, popped the cap, and began to chug.

Sam chuckled at Clint’s antics. “So you gonna ask Sharon to watch them with you?”

Steve flushed. “I’m sure she’s seen them.”

“So?”

“Here, I’ll ask her for you,” Bucky said as he stole Steve’s phone and began tapping out a text message.

“How - that was in my pocket!” Steve sputtered.

Bucky shrugged and hit “send” on the message. The phone beeped almost immediately with a response. “She’s free tonight, but will only watch if you let her pick the order. And if you agree to watch something called ‘Clone Wars’ as well.” Bucky read.

Steve snatched the phone from his friend. “Stop reading my messages!”

Clint practically sprinted back into the room and almost knocked over the table. “‘Clone Wars’?” he asked excitedly.

“Down boy,” Sam said.

“Sounds like Cap has a date,” Scott smirked.

“Alright boys, clear out,” Bucky said, getting up. 

“Wait, what about the poker game? I can’t just -”

“You cannot be thinking about poker at a time like this, pal. Your apartment is a wreck and Sharon is going to be here in 30 minutes. You should get cleaning,” Bucky said as they all got up from the table and made their way to the door.

“But - but - “ Steve sputtered.

“See you tomorrow!” Sam called as he ushered the last of them out the door and slammed it behind him.

Bucky held out his fist to Sam as the door closed and Sam bumped it. “Nicely done,” he said.

“Wait. Did you two orchestrate this whole thing?” Scott asked.

“Well, it is Steve’s birthday,” Sam said.

“And I’m sure he would much rather spend it with Sharon than us,” Bucky replied.

“ _Star Wars_ is not a matchmaking tool!” Clint protested.

Scott stopped in his tracks, the others leaving him behind in the hall. “Wait a - Sharon was supposed to play poker with us tonight.”

“Yep,” Bucky said, not looking back.

“So she was already on her way over,” Scott said.

“Yep,” Sam replied.

“So...we didn’t actually have to leave.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Scott,” Bucky replied from the elevator. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my date with Darcy.”

“Maria is making dinner, I’ve gotta run,” Sam agreed, pushing the button for the ground floor.

The doors closed, leaving Clint and Scott alone in the hall.

“We got played,” Scott said.

“I don’t care what he says, Bucky has not seen _Star Wars_ ,” Clint replied.

Scott hit the button to call the elevator. “Yeah well, Sharon is going to be here any minute, and most likely by tomorrow morning Steve will also not remember any part of _Star Wars_. Let’s get out of here.”

“Yeah,” Clint turned and yelled back towards Steve’s door. “Happy birthday, man!” He turned back towards Scott, muttering petulantly. “ _Star Wars_ is not a matchmatching tool.”

**Author's Note:**

> A friend suggested the insult, which roughly translates to "Shampoo my dick with your saliva, Cupid." I found this hilarious and here we are.


End file.
